I don't know if any other parents ever ponder this ... but being a divorced parent, I wonder how my children feel about it ... what impact that has had on their lives. Dr. Laura talks of divorced parents living near each other for the benefit of the children ... I moved away. It was the only way I felt to reduce the conflict between their mother and myself. To quit trying to tear the children each way.
Before I moved, one of the kids drew a picture that was very revealing ... it was of a bass boat sitting on water ... which left a lot of empty space in the picture ... so I asked, "what else?" And the child drew a live well in the boat with some small fish in it. "Is there anything down in this big expanse of water?" And the child drew an eel and some fishes. Right smack in the middle was a little fish ... facing the little fish on each side were two big fish ... with their mouths open and sharp teeth showing. Wow! Like one of those art therapy things ... Mom & Dad and the little fish in the middle ...
Aren't families weird and wonderful?
When I moved away, their mother was married to a really good guy. I figured that would make about as normal a life as they would get. Without the constant conflict between their Mom & I tearing at them.
They survived ... they are grown and married ... and seem to be good productive people. I wonder if my moving away helped their lives? ... or damaged them? Most children of divorce seem to have this hope that their Mom & Dad will get back together. I know that this will never happen. What are the long-term repercussions?
As one of my grandchildren said, when I went to visit and they were told that I was their father's father, "Daddy already has another father." And there you have it.
